{"id":20,"date":"2019-12-09T18:16:57","date_gmt":"2019-12-09T18:16:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/?p=20"},"modified":"2019-12-09T18:18:03","modified_gmt":"2019-12-09T18:18:03","slug":"psychodynamics-of-the-loving-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/?p=20","title":{"rendered":"Psychodynamics of the loving relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Antonio Pedreira<\/strong>
Medical Doctor, Psychotherapist, and Educator <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do an affectionate relationships begin so well, and do they change so much\nafter quite some time?
\nWhat happens in the loving dynamics that causes so much wear and tear, until the\npoint of converting those passionate lovers in just “cordial enemies” or merely\nguests of the same house?\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why does such wear and tear take place in a relationship that began in such a\ncaptivating way and full of dreams and fantasies?
\nWith all those questions and several others, besides my natural personal curiosity,\nI have begun an incessant bibliographical research, twenty-five years ago,\nenriched subsequently by a great-accumulated experience in the day by day of my\nprofessional practice as an individual, group and of couple therapist.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What motivated me exceedingly was the possibility of, as becoming an expert in\nthis subject, to apply this knowledge not only in my own advantage but also and\nmainly in favor of my countless patients. Quite frequent they bring me as their\nchief complaint for consultation, a relational problem in his\/her couple role, making\ntheir lives so unhappy.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I consider the matrimonial relationship the most significant and important one\nfor the personal happiness, it nurtured and I still nurture the hope that this\nknowledge, herein published, may come to be fundamental for anyone well-being\nand life quality.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Among the countless bibliographical research sources, the one that more inspired\nus initially it was the Masters & Johnson book: \u201cOn Sex and human loving\u201d,\nparticularly the chapter nine: To love and to be loved. From it we extract a cyclical\noutline concerning the romantic love, and we started to observe and verify it in our\npsychotherapy practice, validating it as a useful model to organize our thoughts on\nthe loving dynamics.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, enriching the original model, we arrived to the following outline, in which we\nframed the vast majority of our clients\u2019 cases, with slighted variations as to\nchronology and some details of each stage, due to individual variations.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here is the final diagram modified by us. This version will be utilized as our\nguideline to illustrate and orientate this issue.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We will analyze, to proceed, what of more common and repetitive happens in each\none of these stages of the loving relationship. Our aim is to enable and allow the\nreader to know its main aspects, in your personal life. In other words, giving\nhim\/her the chance of applying this knowledge in his\/hers own relationship, in\norder to avoid, what could be feasible, to keep it away from wear and tear and\nperfecting his\/her quality and enjoyment.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. LOVING PREDISPOSITION <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a state-of-spirit in that the person meets, when feeling capable to love,\nsomebody facing this possibility goes to find somebody to share, in a bond or\nrelationship for two, of something special and indescribable called love. It imagines\nthat as a desirable, sublime and gratifying feeling, in the molds stereotyped by the\nsoap operas and romantic films. Somebody is idealized with a certain profile and\nhe\/she enters into it, in a very predisposed way to the encounter of this akin spirit,\ntoo much longing for intimacy and companionship. With the help of his\/her\npowerful intuitive sense to search someone to full filling all psychic, affective and\nsexual needs with somebody that perhaps also wants the same thing – to love\nand to be loved.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. FALL IN LOVE <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a magic moment in the life of each one of us! Anybody can check, here-and-\nnow, and find out something more or less similar has happened with you.
\nIt goes like that; once upon a day, being in that state of readiness and\npredisposition to the love, suddenly appeared somebody that affected you\nsomehow. In addition, among so many people that you have been contacting with,\nthat one waked you up, to pay a special attention. A crescent and almost\nuncontrollable desire to get intimately and closer and closer aiming to know more\nand more thoroughly, to identify points in common with that person, to know\nhis\/her name, tastes and interests, what does and where lives and, mainly some\napproach chance to find out if there is any chance to establish a loving bond.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All of the available resources, from a common friends’ help even taking the risk of\na daring solemn self-presentation, either in person or by phone call, e-mail etc.\nThese are part of the group of tactics, formerly reserved to the male individuals\nand that nowadays it is unisex, thanks to the feminine liberation. Now they may\nstart doing the same approaching movements toward the potential partner, without\nexcluding an intense and extensive physical as of a first kiss or a long embrace\ncontact. The more happen signs of welcomes, it grows inside the person the belief\nthat it is nearer to make their dreams and fantasies come true. The hope of getting\na favorable acceptance by that charming person turns him] her on, as believing to\nbe capable to satisfy their needs. These entire take to a mixed of happiness and of\naffliction, in being accepted and to do a loving bond, or not to obtain approval, and\nto be rejected. Then the strong fear of displeasing that he\/she feels mixed the\nconcerning about the loved person’s thoughts, and a certain dependence of their\nactions, words and gestures.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this meantime, the growing curiosity in knowing somebody more intimately\nprovokes daydreams, dreams and bad slept nights.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The cerebral chemistry is frankly modified, turning the passion phase in an\nincredible experience, highly exciting and producing an altered state of conscience\nedging even the unrestricted and uncontrollable irrationality.
\nIf everything runs well, inside that person expectation, the reciprocity happens and\nhe\/she begins the affectionate bond, ending in the \u201cBeing in love\u201d following stage.\nIn case things doesn’t go right, nothing hinders that a \u201cperhaps\u201d or \u201cmay be\u201d might\nbe converted into a date and followed by several physical contacts that take place\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

like, kisses, hugs and other stokes according to the reference frame of each one\ninvolves in the courtship.
\nThose stroke serve to mitigate the so-called \u201ccontact hunger\u201d – and to stop the\napproach or to continue it into another new phase \u2013 the \u201cpassionate love\u201d.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. THE PASSIONATE LOVE <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the glory! Starting from the moment in which is steady the affectionate\nreciprocal bond, begins a period of a lot of happiness and joy. It is usually very\ncommon the smiles – they laugh at random without knowing why! Both of them\ndesire to be together the whole time, and in the largest possible physical proximity\nIn this period are heard spontaneous pronouncement of typical sentences of the\nromantic love: \u201cI only go if you go”, “Without you it doesn’t have any grace at all!”,\n\u201cOnly when with you I feel myself complete and happy”, etc.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although it is said that the romantic love is only true if it happens at the first sight,\nin the real life this prompt action is much more the exception than the general rule.\nThe most common way is to happen in a gradual process of involvement,\nfacilitated by the physical proximity in the work atmosphere or by repeated\nencounters, mainly when they start to go out together. Once again, takes place\nrepeats the fundamental duo for a given chemical reaction to be processed: affinity\nand contact. It is not uncommon that, from an intimate friendship with a growing\ncomplicity that turns out to be converted in a loving bond. Starting from favorable\nconclusions, from the daily observation got in a seemingly unsuspicious way, of\nthat person’s qualities. Thus, one may be acquainted and may know well as well\nas the verification if there is affinity or not.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is already proved that someone loving presents an alteration of the cerebral\nchemistry in that is prevalent the presence of the neurotransmissions done by\ndopamine and encephalin, besides the liberation of an endogenous morphine-like\nsubstance (= endorphin). This explains the ecstasy and inspiration that the\npassionate lovers exhibit, with a certain omnipotence and happiness sensation.\nThis state of mind happens independent of any feeling or not, and even\nbefore the slightest mutuality signal from the partner.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is worthy registering that there are three factors that make the passion becomes\nstronger and intense, in a directly proportional way, namely: distance, reproach\nand obstacles. Let us notice, since here, that these three factors tend to disappear\nnaturally, \u2013 as time goes by – with the marriage! However, the passionate love\nperiod, independent of marrying or not, it has a limited duration between one and\ntwo and half years, in agreement with trustworthy researches.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The changes in the cerebral chemistry affect the feelings, the thoughts and the\nloving partners\u2019 actions, which independently of their good purposes turn out to\ntransmute this romantic phase into another transitional stage, i.e. \u201cThe companion\nlove\u201d.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. LOVE IN TRANSITION <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It means the most common development in that spontaneously the passionate love happens to be converted in 95% to 99% of the couples. It is a quite essential the psicodinamics of the loving relationships phase, which keeps a direct relationship with the period of the passion, because everything that was left of being seen or noticed due to the intense vibration, idealization and fantasies, now all will be verified with every rigidity and demand. In this crucial period that, according to the best statistics, it happens between two and a half years and five and a half years of relationship, following a predictable series of events, among which we marked: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7 An implosion of the fantasies causes a true revelation of the nude reality – here\nanything more remain unnoticed and a strong criticism, and the collection of bad\nfeelings \u2013 so-called \u201ctrade stamps\u201d will be inevitable. Even for banal things that\nover there, in the passionate love were discounted, now are emphasized and\nnever more ignored at all. For instance, now one scold because the other presses\nthe tube of the dental cream on the middle or on top, instead of pressing at the\nbottommost. Nevertheless, if before she to snore, or no problem her chewing with\nher mouth opened, and until did not bother him found it something “cute”, now all\nthese acts are reason of criticism, impatience and protest.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7It is also observed that each one in the couple tends to collect bad feelings\n(Trade Stamps) and do endless demands, in order to request toward the other to\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

become what he] she fantasized that would be and trying to accomplish all his\n[hers expectations. It is very common: the occurrence of some resentments,\nsorrows and frustrations accompanying the painful verification or even the\nsensation of being cheated.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The typical sentence, of this moment, is: “he (she) is not indeed anything of what I\nhave thought that would be!”\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition, it can appear the jealousy in high intensity, frequently based on that\npersonal detail, an element that was the principal an attraction factor in the \u201cfall in\nlove\u201d. For instance: the sensuality, his affectionate way of treating other people,\nmainly the one of the opposite sex, and even that physical details that attracted\nhim more, now becomes an issue of protests for the use of certain clothes.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7The vibration decreases and it gets to disappear, translated by the drastic\nreduction of the sexual frequency, accompanied or not for a certain boredom,\nindifference and easy impatience.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It can also happens a testing of oneself, or of the other person and of the own\nrelationship, translated the frequent thought, and verbalized or not:\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can live without this person, who can live without me; I can get along without this\nrelationship.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All the faults and imperfections observed in this transitional loving period serve as background to test the couple’s reality and, when both of them notice that their basic needs were not filled out, they use the underlying frustration as an ingredient to merge into a phase still more serious, that it is the own matrimonial crisis or \u201cLove in Conflict). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\tthe psicodinamics of the loving relationships\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. LOVE COMPANION <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It would be the ideal transmutation of the romantic love, in which settled down a\nwell-known emotional dependence, while in this the relationship is stabilized with\nbase in a healthy interdependence. Spontaneously, without any psychotherapy\nhelp, only 1 to 5% of the couples get to reach this phase in that the five\nparameters of a healthy relationship may be established and well appraised –\nconfidence, respect, admiration, intimacy\/tenderness and sex are well balanced.\nThe involvement, the commitment, the physical, affective and sexual matching\nmight propitiate a pleasant completeness sensation and together with an interior\npeace are usually described as happiness and affection.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The relationship is gratifying, and holds a rich feeling of welfare and affection. The\nsimple other person’s presence in the same environment, although without the\ndrives of the passion. Such pushes induce to a strong physical proximity,\ntranslated by the enormous attunement that characterizes the \u201ccompanion love\u201d.\nThere is a genuine interest with the well-being of the other person, being this,\nmaybe the most faithful indicative of the abstract noun called love. As the\nmaterialization of this feeling contained in the loving bond is the physical\ncelebration of a pleasing sexual life will come, as much in qualitative than in\nquantitative terms.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It would be great if the majority of the couples looked for the \u201ccompanion love\u201d as the goal to reach. On the contrary, they will spend so much time and energy in the persecution of the passion, that becomes exhausted with the committed time, concomitant with the own cerebral chemical changes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. THE LOVE IN CONFLICT <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Due to the \u201cloving in transition\u201d period happens, instead of the \u201cRomantic love\u201d\ngoes on, naturally, and for the fact that communications become tense, all of\nsudden s\/he feels to arrive – in some moment between five and a half years and\neight and a half years – the matrimonial crisis. This so-called as \u201cthe seven year\nitch\u201d or \u201cthe seven year crisis\u201d, but it does not exist such certain fatality or doomed\nyear linked to the cabalistic number seven. I already saw couples reach this crisis\nwith little more than one year of relationship, as well as I could see couples that –\nfor several circumstances (children, city change, catastrophes etc.) – could\npostpone this crisis for twelve years of marriage or more!\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The reality is that this crisis may prove the strength of a loving bond, and it become a decisive stage in the couple’s life, being able even to turn out to be a positive crisis in probing and growing terms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, the conflict can settle through a fight for the power, a veiled or explicit dispute to establish who give the orders. The power games of that happen, following for hard “argues” instead of constructive dialogues. The conflicts that were exception, now if they turn the rule, with frequent catches, offenses to the other one, or toward their relatives (=a mortal sin!). There are verbal, moral and even physical aggressions. Sometimes they play them in a symbolic way, he\/she wants in either – an ostensible and open way, and the storm can be continuous or intermittent, but it can leave irreversible marks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the situation is almost unbearable, the crisis can take one of the three following roads: truce, definitive resolution or disliking.<\/strong> This last one because of the wear and tear of the love and doubts arisen, due to the pernicious action of the process known in Transactional Analysis (TA) as the Psychological Games. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. THE RESOLUTION <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It constitutes the best solution for the \u201clove in conflict\u201d, because it can lead again\nthe relationship to \u201cthe romantic love\u201d, even granting the right to a second\nhoneymoon, candlelight dinners etc. However, they never return to the initial\npassionate phase, because all the idealizations and fantasies were already\nimploded in the \u201clove in transition\u201d stage. There was already a true revelation of\nthe reality, not being more acceptable as before. No more, turn to “seeing how the\nother person really is\u201d. It is possible to occur an invigorating revalidation of the\nbond and even an upgrade of the relationship, now based upon in the past\nsuccessful experience.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although the resolution depends on bilateral motivation, flexibility and cooperation,\nit is undeniable what a passionate beginning of the relationship can exceedingly\ninfluence in the resolution of the crisis. A conciliation process through a couple\ntherapy or even a facilitation through a common friend can help, if both have the\ndesire to preserve and benefit the bond. On the other hand, the imponderable can\nbe a strong factor for a fast and definitive reconciliation. It mean refer to certain\nunexpected events, however of capital importance, such as a serious disease in\nthe family, a kidnapping, a son’s death, a son with drug addiction, etc.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The password can be \u201cAnd we are fighting for such irrelevant things! …\u201d Then it\ncan occur a definitive resolution of the conflicts, bringing back once again to the\n\u201cromantic love\u201d and, with a little bit of luck arriving to the desirable \u201ccompanion\nlove\u201d. Unhappily, it sometimes returns to the \u201clove in transition\u201d, coming to a new\nmatrimonial crisis.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. TRUCE <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the most frequent resolution of the \u201clove in conflict\u201d. For, not passing by a\nmore elaborated process, in which the partners can open up and say everything\nthat dislikes and set reasonable proposals as well as acceptable solutions with\ndignity. It is noticeable that – most of the time – just accept the truce only to\ninterrupt the hostilities. It is very common to accumulate a pernicious collection of\nchronic bad feelings, only to save the appearances next to the friends, children\nand relatives, even for an economics or financial lack of autonomy.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because of these resentments and subjects ill-solved accumulated during the\n\u201clove in conflict\u201d phase is that, even with the goodwill of reaching a steadiness of\nthe relationship – \u201clove companion\u201d – several couples do not reach their goal and,\nin the long run, come back to the \u201cloving in transition\u201d again, and soon enter into a\nnew matrimonial crisis. (See graphic #1)
\nIn those crises, the extra-matrimonial relationships can appear, which subtracts\nenergy from the relationship, and contribute to worse the impatience and\npredispose to the conflicts.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

New truces can happen and if they deviate to a new loving transition and toward a\nnew crisis. After a certain number of serial crises, the relationship goes into the\ndetachment or dispassion.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. DETACHMENT OR DISPASSION <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Variable, from couple to couple, the wear and tear will come inexorably, after\nsome successive conflicts. The foreseeable consequences is observed in the\ncommunications, which start to be more and more uncommon, tense and with\nsmaller attunement, intimacy and a decreasing interest in the other person’s well\nfare.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here already one of the two can happen to be engaged in a new relationship,\ndespite of the other person’s despair that can be, so far in another phase, and full\nof hope in rescuing the relationship.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If nothing is made to avoid the imminent rupture of the bond, the relationship will\nreach – in a variable time from a couple to another, the last stage: \u201cthe dislike\u201d.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. THE DISLIKE \u2013 NOT LOVING ANY MORE <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the end of the affectionate linkage \u2013 with the total cooling of the relationship,\naccompanied of the sensation of not loving any long that person, who used to be\nso significant, and that inspiring of such warm feelings.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this period, there is no possible return, at least in a short time. It can have the\nimmediate substitution or in the end of that dear object, that now seems so distant\nand so strange. Such strangeness may be translated by thoughts and feelings of\nimprobability, kind of – did I already kiss that person!? — Did I already play with her\nintimately! Did I indeed?\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is hard to realize how happened such a melancholic end for a story that began\nso beautiful and touching.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Surprisingly, that person who took the initiative of the rupture, usually suffers less\nand seems to be much more vulnerable to go into a new relationship, whereas that\nthat was left, can get along for a difficult period, unless s\/he already has somebody\nstand by to begin everything again. It would be desirable that both of them could\ngive to themselves a time to elaborate the loss, before assuming a new\ncommitment, under the risk of repeating the same mistakes of the last relationship.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CONCLUSION<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What to do to prevent against the possible mistakes and current wear and tear\ncaused by the own dynamics of the loving relationships?\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first thing is to keep in mind the existence of these whole events, inherent to\nthe human condition and their unconscious motivations for the loving bond. It is\nalways good to begin the relationship well, \u201cfalling in love\u201d, but without discounting\nhis\/her perceptions, nor either to deify that person, attributing to him\/her unreal\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

qualities. Try to see clearly and accurately that other person just the way s\/he is\nwithout any discount at all.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Avoid collecting bad feelings about the loved person. If necessary, face the\npossibility of a good fight, saying to the other what you dislike more without hurting\nthe other one\u2019s ego. Also, if you have something positive to declare, feel free to\nsay it, do not save this reinforcement, because it can improve his\/her self-image\nand self-esteem.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is quite advisable that both spouses get to separate emotionally from their\nrespective nuclear family. In making this individualization, might invest this\nemotional energy in his\/her loving bond. Thus creating this way an identity as\ncouple – which is equal to cut the umbilical cord – may assume his\/her full\ndevelopment and maturity.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Such string rupture does not happen by chance, and if they do not sever, it will be\npredisposed to form symbiotic bonds.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Learning one to respect each other’s autonomy, it does not imply to discard\nintimacy neither companionship. To care for gratifying sexual relationship is\nfundamental, as much as a level of complicity, acceptance and tenderness are\nconcerned.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try to maintain the good-humor, the leisure and the happiness, even in the most\ndifficult moments, and in occasions in that, the solidarity is indispensable.\nReminding that a relationship will never be ready. It is suitable to reinvigorate it\ninside of the original proposal, in spite of the changes that the time brings.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Last, but not the least, to inspire you all, still more; I want to do mine Virginia\nSatir’s words, when proposing a TRUE ENCOUNTER.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want to love you without dominating,
To appreciate you without judging,
To approach without invading,
To invite you without imposing,
To leave you without blaming,
To criticize you without accusing,
To help you without insulting;
If I can receive the same of you,
Then we can have a true encounter
Enriching each other. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ant\u00f4nio Pedreira <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

BIBLIOGRAPHIC REFERENCES<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Antonio Pedreira Medical Doctor, Psychotherapist, and Educator Why do an affectionate relationships begin so well, and do they change so much after quite some time? What happens in the loving dynamics that causes so much wear and tear, until the point of converting those passionate lovers in just “cordial enemies” or merely guests of the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9,4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23,"href":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20\/revisions\/23"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/antoniopedreira.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}